Tired, but restless ~ can’t sleep…
Tonight was one of those nights ~ the kind where l cuddled my cat and just cried… longing for only one pair of arms to wrap around me tight and tell me that
‘everything is going to be ok’.
But those arms are no longer with me ~ in the real, the flesh ~ where you feel skin on skin, comfort & warmth.
There’s normally know rhyme or reason why we sometimes lose our shit and cry ourselves dry. My guess is (speaking for myself) that it might have something to to do with having a continuous string of ‘not so hot’ Soul Stories markets over the last few wintery months. And after todays figures, well, that’s when the ‘WTF am l doing?’ kicked in.
I keep reminding myself that it’s not ALL about the figures on the day, but soooo much more about planting seeds and trusting the universe, and that certain souls will return when the time is right.
If ‘my’ today’s success was measured by the number of people that suddenly stopped in their tracks, to read, to reflect, to inhale in awe, to laugh, sigh, tear up and cry… Then without doubt, l was the richest soul there. And those are the very special moments that l hold close to my heart and let them keep pushing me forward when l feel like lm fumbling & falling over my ol’ dancer feet.
Just like anyone, l constantly doubt myself and wonder if l’m lucky enough, good enough, strong enough and smart enough to turn yet another passion into a sustainable career. For some silly human reason, even when we have other ‘positive’ things going on in the background, we seem to focus on that one or two things that aren’t working quite right and let it define our incredible journey…
But let me tell you something absolutely true, even though today happened (yet again) and that l feel emotionally drained from it all ~ l will continue to give all of my heart, my sweat, soul and tears before l EVER stop trying.
Every last breathe & dime will go into my passion, into Soul Stories ~ to help, to heal and to inspire those who truly need it and want to be reminded of how special their stories are in this one shot life… I will be there, knocking on the front door.
This is my calling & all that l have to offer.
And l feel you mum, gently guiding me and sometimes pushing me into directions that not even l understand? All l can do is close my eyes and try my hardest to feel you wrapped around me as l cry myself to sleep ~ ready for the sun to rise, to open my heart & to love the next day ~ the unknown beautiful future, all over again…
Nigh nigh everyone, sleep tight & lm know that l’m hugging you ‘ever so tightly’ from afar…
love t x
The loss of you
had irreversibly damaged
the bones in my body,
heart in my chest &
soul beneath my skin…
August 16 .15
When you follow your heart
you will find your wings…
August 15 .15
I feel you wrapped around me
~ even though
I can’t hug you back…
August 16 .15